Sunday 9th May 2010

by admin

I was born on an island and spent the first part of my childhood there. I was surrounded by beautiful beaches, lush green mountains, gorgeous expressions of nature, and lots of family and friends. It was a more simple, yet vibrant, life. Once we moved to the states, we would visit extended amounts of time every couple of years until I became an adult and was living on my own.

Today when I stepped into the shower I caught a slight smell that instantly thrust-ed me back to my homeland. The scent of the water, the feel of the moisture in the air, on my skin, I was home all over again and it made me ponder. What if my dad had not been transferred to the states when I was eight? How would’ve my life unfolded? Who would I be married to now… would I have children…how many? Would I have kept my figure and stayed more active instead of becoming slothful and fat? Would my skin be delightfully kissed by the sun therefore showing more of my heritage? Would I have continued in the religion that has been so heavily imprinted in my family lineage? Would I be/feel happy?  All these possibilities left in an abandoned past.

So then the question arises, is it a complete waste of time and energy, being eternally ungrateful in the present to think about the what ifs, or is it just truly a fascinating exercise, a glimpsing into, in the fashion of Hugh Everett, an alternate universe? It amuses me to think about the possibility of an alternate me in an alternate reality that is living that alternate life back on the island. Has  she eventually also made her way to the states or has she found her success and destiny there?  Does she feel beautiful, powerful, complete?  Has her life unfolded the way she visualized it so long ago?  Or is she wistfully pondering about me?

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